


Stay

by Angryangryowl



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Cuddling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Kylo is non-verbal when overwhelmed, M/M, Overwhelmed, Post-Coital
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 17:38:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7371295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angryangryowl/pseuds/Angryangryowl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For the TFA kink meme prompt:</p><p>After Hux and Kylo have sex for the first time, Kylo goes weirdly quiet, not responding to anything Hux says. Hux is a bit freaked out, wondering if he did something wrong or hurt Kylo somehow...</p><p>Until Kylo, who's just not able to put what he's feeling into words, sends out a chaotic rush of emotion in Hux's direction. Just a massive force powered wave of incoherent feelings, and underneath it all a quiet thread of "I love you I want to stay here please let me stay please love me back..."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stay

When Hux finally untangles himself from Kylo, slick with sweat and lube and come, he at least expects Kylo to smile a little. Instead Kylo looks like he’s close to crying. He stays on his back, his legs flopping limply. His hazel eyes are staring blankly into the middle distance. When Hux curls on his side next to him, he’s not quite sure what to do next. Will Kylo lash out at him if he’s done something wrong? Is he hurt? He can’t possibly be regretting this already, can he?

He settles for a gentle hand on Kylo’s chest, which Kylo takes in both his own hands and grips it tightly. A good start. Kylo slowly slumps onto his own side, not letting go of Hux’s hand for a second. His eyes don’t meet Hux’s, staring down at the bunched sheets between them.

‘Are you alright?’ Hux ventures, trying to catch his gaze.

Kylo opens his mouth to speak a couple of times, but shakes his head. Whether it's confirmation that he can't speak or that he's not okay isn't clear.

Hux gently loosens Kylo’s hands from his. Kylo seems unwilling at first, but let's go, seeming a little more contented when Hux recaptures both of Kylo’s great paws in his own hands. They look rather delicate in comparison.

Questions with yes or no answers seem a logical approach. ‘Are you hurt? Did I hurt you anywhere?’’

Nothing had seemed particularly rough, in fact up until about a minute ago, Kylo seemed to be enjoying everything Hux did to him. Trying not to get sidetracked by the memory of increasingly desperate cries of his own name, he squeezes Kylo’s hands in encouragement. Still no response.

Kylo’s eyes squeeze shut in frustration. A few damp locks of dark hair fall over his forehead. Hux wants to brush them back into place, but restrains himself for a moment.

‘Did I upset you?’ It's tempting to write it off to Kylo’s natural flair for drama, but this is different somehow. Hux could take screaming and destruction in his stride, but the total absence of noise is far more unsettling.

‘Come on, now. I can’t help you if you won’t talk.’

Kylo’s full bottom lip quirks a little. He sniffs. The moisture gathering under his eyelashes finally grows too heavy, and one miserable tear slips down the side of his nose.

It’s not strictly ethical to grab him Kylo by the shoulders, shake him and tell him to pull himself together. And a cool knot of pity settles somewhere beneath Hux’s ribs, swelling painfully against his heart. This was certainly far more than he’d agreed to. But he felt something for Kylo. Nothing he could put a word as strong as love to. But he hoped they could do this again. Or at least repeat that first gentle and fumbling kiss.

Hux wasn’t even sure what he thought he was agreeing to. Months of aggression which turned into vague tolerance which turned into horrendously awkward flirting. Which culminated in a soft and surprisingly sweet first kiss from Kylo after barging into his quarters one night, ranting about Hux being too distracting.

One kiss had become many, Hux can’t quite remember who started taking whose clothes off. Kylo seemed a little nervous, but receptive, blushingly grateful that Hux led him through a few things. He gazed at Hux like nobody ever had. Not just desire, but an almost childlike admiration he hadn’t bothered to hide. Like Hux had hung every star in the galaxy.

A barely concealed sob shudders through Ren’s overlarge frame. He curls forward around their clasped hands, looking like he is trying to fit himself into the smallest possible space. Hux has ruined whatever this is already. He doesn’t know what he’s done, but it’s bad. He hasn’t had many partners in his time, but those who have gone before have never actually cried afterwards.

‘It’s okay..’ Hux soothes uncertainly, pressing his lips to Kylo’s inky black curls.

Kylo hiccups, and parts his hands from Hux’s to press the fingertips of one hand to his forehead, without looking up at him.

The sudden shock of emotion physically jolts him backwards, as everything Kylo thinks and feels slams into his mind, a disorganised and howling torrent. It’s a few seconds before Hux can make any sense of the tangled mass. Fear overrides everything, Hux can feel the cold and sinking terror in his own guts. Fear that he’s messed it all up, that he won’t get another chance, that this is really it.

But there’s a warmth there too, a glowing and grasping want directed squarely at him. Physical desire, but a need for him close as well. Memories carefully preserved of the way Hux’s hands feel, the way he says Ren’s name. The stomach-clenching excitement at physical sensations that are too many and too much, the best kind of too much, his mind still fuzzy in afterglow.

A sad and sinking resignation is the base note, that he’d better enjoy this while it lasts. That Hux probably pities him more than anything, that he won’t stay. Underneath it all, there’s a voice. It’s Kylo but only just. Less rumbling and confident, it sounds shaken and frightened.

Hux tried to focus amongst the cascade of other emotions all clamouring for attention in his mind. It murmurs desperately, a steady stream of pleas and promises with no pause. "I love you I want to stay here please let me stay please love me back..."

Hux pulls away, from Kylo’s hand and from their link after that. He feels stretched, wrung of every emotion and left boneless by it. Kylo looks up at him, his big dark eyes searching and wary. Hux feels something warm and secret swell in his chest. Maybe love isn’t too strong a word. 

Hux gathers him gently into his chest, Kylo’s forehead resting gratefully against his collarbone. One hand cradles Kylo’s head, whilst the other spreads wide across his back. Kylo’s shoulders still shake with barely audible sobs. 

‘You can stay. As long as you want. Tonight. Whenever you want. Stay.’

Maybe it’s the best he can do for now. Kylo nuzzles wordlessly into him, pressing his cheek against Hux’s ribs.


End file.
